33 weeks tomorrow. It's a funny crazy thing to be pregnant... This baby is *strong* & as Cai says, "Our baby has the biggest ears in the world"... Gam gave her a weird look when she said that, but she means, every time someone talks to my belly, they get rewarded with a big "thump". I'm feeling a little tired... i've been doing a ton of reading. A new one i hadn't read before called, "adventures in natural childbirth" i thought was cool ~ mostly birth stories, but i find it helpful to read that type of thing & remember what it's like & how i felt & how i may feel again & what i might want to try. i don't know why natural childbirth is such a big deal to me. It amazes me every time i go through it that my body was made to work this way. There's no other pain in the world that is so productive as labour pain. i always feel like i'm on a team with the little one labouring to be born. Every time, during birth, there has come a time where i call out to God & ask for help. It's such a intimate joy, when a baby is born... My last 2 full term births were so silent ~ i think Neil half wondered if i was really in labour. i want that peace during birth again. i want the dim lights & to be the calm mama i was then. i remember when i had Sloanie saying, "is she alive?" after she was born... It had only been 10 and a half months since i had delivered Caleb's little body & it seemed so surreal that i could give birth to a living breathing baby ~ that i could go through the pain without the grief ~.
Truly, i look forward to that joy again.