more goodbyes

Charter,

You turn 8 today.

i snuck downstairs last night to say goodbye to my seven year old son & you crept down from your loft bed to snuggle me on the couch. You gave me a goofy grin as you slipped into my arms and said, "Mom, it's so weird how you do this..."

But it's tradition - so you humour me.

You're so excited to grow up - & i feel so lucky that i get to watch.

i told you how one of my favourite qualities about you is your enthusiasm. Whenever we're doing something - you're the first to hop on board & get excited.

i told you about the day you were born... & how the nurses all exclaimed over your giant hands.

We compared our hands - yours are still big beefy things - just like your dad's.

i asked you if i could pray a special birthday prayer for you - & to my surprise you said, "i want to pray for you too mom..."

i prayed for you - a blessing on my sweet son, rocketing through his childhood years, and filling his mama with gratitude...

& you prayed for me too - with your arms wrapped tightly around my neck & your mouth just at my ear... i heard the catch in your voice as you talked to your Father... He has your heart, Charter, He won't ever let you go.

But now - the smell of scrambled eggs is filling the house as your big sisters prepare your birthday breakfast in bed - & anytime now, i'm gonna meet my fresh faced 8 year old.

i sure love you, paxy bear, chew man, charts...

Happy Birthday.

in pursuit of...

sometimes i wonder
if i'm supposed to be pursuing
life more
persistently.
Reaching for what i could attain...
or
Reaching down lifting wee
ones
to higher ground.
& it seems to me...
when it's all sifted - and laid bare,
that He's all i need.
So,
fill me, Father.
Strip it all away again.
Humble me -
Master Craftsman.
Claim me.
You are all that is worthy of -
pursuit.

culpable?

Recently, Neil took our 3 "middlies" on a business trip with him & left me at home with my 2 big girls & my 2 teeny boys. His business was taking him to BC, where my inlaws live, & had just recently moved into a new condo. My littles were pretty excited to see their Gam & Gamp's new home & to have a little vacation to boot. Neil's parents had decorated their new place, bought a new dining set & settled in nicely. When my crew came home, Neil said he had a funny story for me.
Apparently, after supper one night, my mother in law went to go wipe her new table... & discovered some scratches in it...
Upon careful examination... the scratches revealed a name.
As Neil was telling me this story, my stomach fell... "oooohhhh, noooooooo.... pullllleeeeze no..." i moaned...
"& scratched into the table were the letters, "E-M-M-A"
Bless you, Emma, sweet little niece of ours.
After all, it was our child who pooped on the carpet in their brand new house while we were getting our first tour last time they moved, so i figure we're about even now...
Besides, our children would never deface home & property like that...

In the fort

Can you see this one? "mollen" on the back of the couch... with Cai's deoderant...

Permanent marker on Cai's sheets...

Back deck...

Cai & Moll's wall

Upstairs hallway... i wonder what disrupted the artist - & stopped her from completing this beauty?

baby brothers

Such sweet lovin'...

i get a kick out of these 2 sweet little brothers.

& i'm lovin' watching them love each other...
Sometimes one more than the other.

But, i feel certain that little lovey won't stay behind too long.

He's just growing so fast...

what we didn't give you...

Gagey - daddy always joked when i was pregnant with you that the baby inside didn't know what he was getting into. He said you thought you were going to be an only child & that you'd be spoiled rotten.

We giggled as we imagined you thinking you'd have the world by the tail - your own room, vacations and a mom & a dad all to yourself.

That's what we didn't give you...

i hope you will always see the beauty in what we did.