recap of my thirties...

Way back on the eve of my thirtieth birthday, i posted a blog post detailing my hopes and dreams for my thirties... it has been on my mind a lot in these, the last days of my thirties, as my forties loom.

A whole decade passed.

And so, i thought i'd bring that old blog post back to light, from July of 2006... and see how i did. i'll include my present day thoughts in colour.  Hoping to create a new post like this to bid farewell to my thirties and stir up hopes and dreams for the decade to come!

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Thursday, July 13th 2006 ~ My last day in my 20's ~
Breakfast: Toast, avocado, coffee
Lunch: Mr. Noodles (Cai cooked) toast (Sloan cooked) OJ (Peyton cooked!)
Supper: pb&j sandwich (hey, Neil's out of town)

i read: The Tale of Despereaux (half last night, half today)
3 chapters of Anne of the Island to the big girls (Cai read 1)
Lots of email
Some psalms & the story of the persistent widow (Luke 18)
(This week i read "underground to Canada" & "Voyage of Hope ~ the saga of the brideships"

What's on my mind: Becky M., heaven, babies, children, missing Cai and Sloan when they go to fiddle camp this week... having too much company, are we gonna move again? Can i pull this off? Be a real homeschooling mom?

Played and sang today: "my cry" ~ by me
"blessed be your name, in the land that is plentiful"...
"stuck in a moment" U2

~ missed Neil... who will be home sometime after midnight ~

i wore: a sundress ~ plaid ~ from Old Navy
hair: in barrettes

I HOPE MY 30's BRING..... (by their close...)
#one... glory to God... He is my hope & salvation... i hope my 30's bring a closer walk... Above all else, they have!

*more homeschooling Hurray! One point!! My thirties brought me a whole decade of homeschooling!
* happiness & love in my marriage... My marriage is the happiest that it has been in it's twenty years... & that's saying something, cause it has been a pretty sweet union. Thank you, Jesus. 
*clarity Unfortunately, no. If anything, less. 
*less selfishnessYES! Continually!
*one daughter into womanhood! (Cai will be 20!)
*two daughters finished highschool! (Sloan will be 18)
*my tiny Mollen into double digits! (She'll be 12)
*Peyton will be sixteen!
*Charter will probably be bigger than me (at 14).
*Oh, God, i'm scared to hope, but i yearn for my 30's to bring me another child. This makes me cry. Big, huge, fat tears. Thank you God for Hope, Gage, Ephraim, Tiny and Elmer - who all came to me in my 30's! 
*i want to be a better mom. i hope i am. i'm doing my best... which seems like not enough a lot of days... but like the widow with the mites, i'll faithfully bring all i have & trust it to my Father's hands. 

IN MY 20's I LEARNED.....
*How to die to self
*How to be a mom
*How to be a wife
*How to cook, clean, organize, do laundry & run a household.
*How to grieve... how it really feels ~ to grieve...
*How to give birth, & breastfeed... & breastfeed... & breastfeed
*How to "run" a homeschool!
*How to pack up & move a whole household... again, and again, and again...
*How important God's Grace is...
*How unimportant most fights are.
*How much i *love* being a wife &  momma~
*How to dress like a grown-up... (sort of) Hahahaaaa! Still working on this one... 
*i *love* Neil.
*How to put together a website.
*That i don't know much... but i want to... & i'm willing to do something about it.
*Your children can surpass your wildest hopes and expectations...

IN MY 30's I WANT TO LEARN....
*How to impact this world & take back ground our parents lost... for the sake of my children who will battle this darkness after i'm gone. In my 30's God brought me through several intense seasons of learning how to PRAY, and PRAISE. Through these times, He has transformed my heart and continued to soften me and show me that my biggest battle ground is in my own heart and mind. 
*How to FIGHT against what i know to be wrong ~
*and how to EMBRACE love... above all to love, Love like Jesus, "do unto others"...
*How to homeschool successfully through high school. Times TWO, baby!!
*i want to know more about the environment & good nutrition & exercise... to pass on good habits to my littles. Love this one too... i think i'm the healthiest and strongest that i have ever been in my whole life... both in mind and body. 
*How to teach my girls all i learned in my 20's (!) (maybe not all, but LOTS) I love the wonderful, capable women that my girls have become. i don't think i would have dreamed that i would still be in my 30's as my oldest plans her wedding - but what a beautiful thing that she has seen in our young, crazy marriage - nothing to fear. 
*Miracles happen, hearts soften... Indeed, they do. 
*Neil loves me...Oh, how he has persistently and consistently taught me this. 
*How to let my babies go... tears. 
*How will we do this dating thing?? We will do it the way we've done a lot of our parenting... it will be messy and off the cuff. It will be scary and hard. We will talk and listen. The rules will be few, but our main focus will be keeping their hearts. 
*More about prayer and fasting...
*How to find a schedule that i can actually do. Oh, paige, was this written before the days when you realized that schedules have to constantly change so that they continue to work for you? Learn to be flexible, work hard, be consistent... schedules will come and go - and they will only work as well as your character does. 
*How to get up earlier in the morning. Um, this one is actually pretty easy when you're not eternally sleep deprived. i'm sorry you felt like you weren't good enough because it was so hard for you to wake up in the morning for so many years. Now, you get up at 6:15 without an alarm. You work out before the kids are up. You drink coffee because you enjoy it, not because you need it. But you miss sleep deprivation because it means there aren't any babies in the house anymore...