thinking out loud... birth, travel and planning to flex

i have a tendency to over think things. It's a bit crippling at times - and such a sweet relief to finally be able to just let go when i realize that i've worked that one little thought into a frazzled mess and i should possibly just put it aside now. 
My friend J and i were having a little texting convo the other day as she was working through a little thought process of her own. We kind of talked through her options and where she felt like God wanted her to be - and in the end she had peace about what she was supposed to do... and it was funny 'cause she told me, "Thanks for that. You are always so good at putting into words the thoughts and leadings I have but can't seem to explain. I know they're from God, but you help me stand back and see a broader picture."
And it's funny to me - how our weaknesses are so often our strengths too! 
So the last few days i have been puzzling out some of the details of this baby's birth. There are so many blanks that will be filled in by my own sweet son and by a Father who i really believe has a hand in the timing of *all* things...
But there are a few details that i do know about that are rattling around in my head begging to be slotted into some sort of a makeshift plan - (knowing that where babies are concerned, all plans are subject to change without any notice)...
Neil's travel has been amazing this past little bit - far more home time than away time, trips that have been a manageable length and less weekends spent missing family time. But strangely, it looks like in the window of "baby time" - there are going to be not one, but two trips that will take him far enough away that he wouldn't be able to get home...
And i do have peace.
And there is a sweet little window of time between the trips where he will be home, and it wouldn't surprise me one tiny bit if the baby decided to arrive on one of those home days...
But for the days when he's not here... my mind (which again, is at peace) - is mulling over scenarios trying to find the very best options for me - and for the little ones here in our home, and mostly for this sweet little boy who will be making that epic journey through birth...
We're planning on using the Arbour Birth Center - like we did for Ephraim's birth. It was the perfect middle ground for us, and we both felt like it was our favourite birthing experience... We don't know who will come with us, if we'll bring any little ones with us, or if they'll all be tucked in bed. We're just deciding we'll decide when the time comes.
But if Neil's gone...
i don't want to drive across Calgary to get to a birthing center. Yes, i have awesome friends who would drive me... but it's the loneliness that gets me. i don't want to go and leave my family at home if i already don't have Neil. i know that doing that would make me feel sad and torn... So, we've decided that if Neil's out of town, we'll call the midwives to come to our house and have a home birth. i've done very little (nothing) to prepare for the event of a home birth. Maybe part of me is in denial that it's even a possibility, as i so badly want Neil to be there... Cairo claims that there's no way my mind will let my body go into labour until Neil's last trip is done & he's back home... & honestly? i believe her... That would put me at 12 days "over"... but it's not unimaginable...
So, there are some of my little threads of thoughts.
i'm not stressed.
i'm not worried.
i'm taking each day (and each business trip) as it comes, and i'm doing all that i can do to grow this sweet little one safely inside until it's time for him to come out - and i'm trusting that the Father who gave life to us both will hold us in the palm of His hand...
So there's my little update as I gaze ahead to these next precious waiting days with due dates looming on the horizon - and the sweet smell of rain making the grass grow green...