Would you believe that watching your kids fail is one of the very best things about being a mama?
i have a hard time believing that sometimes...
Ugh - my horrible pride getting in the way... wanting ease, success, the best, smartest, brightest, most talented, successful kid...
Yes. Believe me. i do.
But then i learn to let go. To let them do, be... to own their own successes... and even their own failures. Being a mama to a big family has been a huge blessing to me in that i have been unable to micromanage my troop. i couldn't do everything for everyone even if i wanted to (which i no longer do). i've watched my kids struggle. Each child has different barriers in their paths - and i watch them climb, scraping hands and getting dirty - putting mind to the task at hand and making every effort to overcome.
But sometimes... they don't... overcome.
Sometimes they fail.
And i feel like kicking and screaming and blaming everyone else under the sun just as much as any other sinfully proud mama. i feel like pointing fingers and, "hush, darling, mama's gonna make everything ok"-ing my kids.
But i don't.
Because miraculously i found out that failure hasn't killed my children. Yeah, it has hurt - and yeah, it gives a little kick in the pants to pride... and yes, yes, yes - it has put a magnifying glass on the areas that i wish we could all do better in.
But sometimes... it has given me an opportunity to sit back and watch grace and humility in action...
And in those moments, instead of failure - i see enormous, towering success.
A child who is able to accept correction without reassigning blame?
A young woman who is able to accept disappointment with poise and maturity?
A little one who begins to recognize that maybe minimal effort won't bring about the beautiful fruit they've been hoping to see?
And so i'm learning (when i can get my pride to shut up and take a back seat - which i'll admit - isn't as often as i'd like)... that watching my kids struggle... and sometimes even fail... hasn't been the end of the world.
It's the beginning...
And what a beautiful beginning it is.