Monday, November 12, 2012

one day

i waken to sweet two year old Yum patting my cheek and whispering, "mom..."
i crack open one eye to see his sweet blue eyes gazing into mine hopefully, "It not sleep time anymore?"
i glance at the clock and shake my head, "Nope. It's not sleep time anymore, buddy. We can get up now."
His little make-shift bed is in shambles - a pile of blankets and pillows that exists permanently beside our bed that he claims is his real bed - and we let him claim it since we've been so relieved to kick little writhing boy out from between us.
i'm not getting up though, so little one asks hopefully, "i come snuggle in your bed with you?"
And i throw back the covers to welcome sturdy legs and dandelion fluff bed-head with impossibly fast beating heart into my arms. He can't stay still. He wiggles from side to side as i hold him and soon he's on his knees smiling at me... and i smile at him... and i get up.
Daddy's away on business, and there is coffee to be made. Hopeful sparkling eyed one pulled out frozen pumpkin mush from the freezer - knowing i'll mix up a batch of muffins if i see it there melting on the counter.
And soon there is perpetual motion - a family meeting about the fighting, a little one spraying an entire can of air freshener onto the couch, two and a half dozen muffins consumed, milk spilled, bibles pulled out, slobbery kisses exchanged with my morning boy.
And you know... i feel like i'm failing... amidst all the good smells of hazelnut coffee and pumpkin muffins... amidst the ever threatening messes and the broken, the dishevelled and needing a haircut... amidst the almost, but never quite fully finished school work, and the grades that should have been better but weren't... the teeth that seem to be coming in crooked, the husband that i need to ask forgiveness from... again, the tempers that flare up and the ones that respond in kind...
And it's such a broken pathetic little mess...
But i have felt more peace about this place of not excellent but adequate.
So i wrangle a wiggly boy and chop some of his mop of blonde hair off. It's a little better, i think. We pray for our family - and talk about how we can do this better. i tell my littles to get out some books - and i know that today - even if it doesn't all get done, some of it will. i sweep up some of the crumbs and clear a spot on the counter.
i'm doing my best.
And it's enough.


Carol said...

Great to read your post today - I have missed your blogging so much.

paige said...

Thanks carol - i'm getting out of practice :) Too much mulling, not enough getting anything down.

Mandy said...

I have a hard time being OK with not everything getting done. Thanks for reminding me that other HS Mom's are in the same place and learing to rest in it. Thanks Paige.

paige said...

It's constant, eh, mandy? :) & then we're always trying to balance between knowing we need to pull up our socks & do a little better & accepting that our humble offerings are ever adequate. :) Praying i can find that balance.

Anonymous said...

[b][url=]louis vuitton bags[/url][/b] Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz really know what helps make marriage get the job done. From their 100s of interviews with happily married partners, symbolizing 15,000 several years of relationship, they have uncovered the 7 pervasive qualities present in all productive marriages. Their book exposes the insider secrets for fulfillment as a result of these poignant, actual lifestyle tales..

[b][url=]louis vuitton handbags[/url][/b] Among the most critical characteristics of Liberty Reserve is the protection of your account. Passwords, PIN's, end account attribute, and anti-keylogger (trojan) login system are only a couple of from the stability safeguards that Liberty Reserve has extra to maintain your worth secure and secure inside your account. Practically nothing functions far better, nonetheless, than your own private due diligence in regards to security.

[b][url=]louis vuitton[/url][/b] low cost louis vuitton bags on sale Regardless of how we have been usually constrained along with the investing finances, you ought to stop counterfeits. The challenge is it is easy to buy your money's well worth with the replications . It could possibly be possible your very own sewing can pull, the genuine organic leather may possibly fade together with the low cost lv purses buckles will definitely lv rust promptly.

[b][url=]cheap ugg boots[/url][/b] Experience the new tactic for searching Initial 2nd handLouis Vuitton within the consolation of your respective household space sofa at discounted prices. This really is true that every one collections on supply at BagsOfCharm are classified because the unique ones, as well as store is very guaranteed along with the. You are aware of this online market is usually a lot less than harmless for the people to surf.

[b][url=]uggs on sale[/url][/b] he asks. like tawdry. class="cnnFBRecBtnBot cnn_tpad15" id="cnnStryRcmndBtnBtm">. Picture your quarterback heroes -- they didn't achieve hero status working with erratic, unreliable throwing strategies. That's not to point out that they don't have undesirable games, video games the place they may not toss the ball inside the ocean should they attempted -- but what separates the heroes within the chumps is their ability to shake it off, to break from the slump and return swiftly to form. The nice players rebound promptly given that they have fantastic process within the 1st area, process that as a result of prolonged apply may be constructed into their muscle mass memory, and it is as a result quickly re-accessible together with the right aim..


Related Posts with Thumbnails