Doctors appointment today... everything's good... more thoughts from writing emails...
This one to my family:
Soooooo, since i'm wanting to hear an update from dad, i thought i'd update you all!
i went to the doctor today for my 36 week check up & i saw another one of the doctors in the practice. She was really good & i'm happy about that 'cause that's 3 out of the 6 that i've met & i like them all so far! My blood pressure is "excellent" & baby doesn't seem huge or anything, so, i'm thinking we're not looking for an early baby. My u/s dated the pgcy with a due date of Feb 2nd (2 days after my original of Jan 31st) so i'm thinking it'll probably be at least that late... Also, i had been a little concerned with my cervix since i had a d&c the month before i got pregnant. She checked & i'm not at all dilated or effaced ~ (& lots of women are at this stage of pregnancy, but i'm usually sealed up like a drum, so it's good to know that nothing's changed for me...)
Anyway, mom, i don't know if you were booking flights or gonna wait till last minute, but as of right now, i'm not thinking you need to come in Jan at all.
i feel really good ~ i'm trying to be rid of all anxiety ~ i find myself trying to keep my mind on the shallow side of things & yet when i do that, i find i'm missing out on my relationship with God because i almost feel like i can't bear the depth... (if that makes any sense...) It's easier to think about bangs or toenails than eternity sometimes... Physically, pregnancy is a lot easier for me than mentally...
i'm so grateful for this little gift & i can't wait to meet this baby & even tho 4 weeks seems like *forever* right now, Steph keeps telling me it's only *days*... i don't think i've ever been this ready for a baby. i've got a beautiful little brand new carseat & stroller, diapers, wipes, newborn soothers, a couple of teeny newborn sleepers... All i need is the baby!
Anyway, enough blathering...
My mom wrote me back:
Strangely….I understand exactly the sentiment(s) that you expressed….haha. When we are able to go deep it’s wonderful…but then I think sometimes if we always kept going deeper and deeper….haha…we may crack up. But each fore’ leaves us with a little deeper range I think…and as long as we are operating in this old world….the little everyday things keep our feet on the ground here….I think we have to just lighten up sometimes..
i've been downloading songs to listen to in labour... It has been sooo good. i've been using a lot of the "shout to the Lord kids" songs & some Jason Upton, & just a general mix of what i think i may need to hear. When i was listening to those songs, i found myself being comforted... Knowing my Father still has his fingers on me & that He is keeping me ~ even in this time of shallowness ~ in the palm of His hand.