Thursday, January 3, 2008

Doctors appointment today... everything's good... more thoughts from writing emails...
This one to my family:

Soooooo, since i'm wanting to hear an update from dad, i thought i'd update you all!
i went to the doctor today for my 36 week check up & i saw another one of the doctors in the practice. She was really good & i'm happy about that 'cause that's 3 out of the 6 that i've met & i like them all so far! My blood pressure is "excellent" & baby doesn't seem huge or anything, so, i'm thinking we're not looking for an early baby. My u/s dated the pgcy with a due date of Feb 2nd (2 days after my original of Jan 31st) so i'm thinking it'll probably be at least that late... Also, i had been a little concerned with my cervix since i had a d&c the month before i got pregnant. She checked & i'm not at all dilated or effaced ~ (& lots of women are at this stage of pregnancy, but i'm usually sealed up like a drum, so it's good to know that nothing's changed for me...)
Anyway, mom, i don't know if you were booking flights or gonna wait till last minute, but as of right now, i'm not thinking you need to come in Jan at all.
i feel really good ~ i'm trying to be rid of all anxiety ~ i find myself trying to keep my mind on the shallow side of things & yet when i do that, i find i'm missing out on my relationship with God because i almost feel like i can't bear the depth... (if that makes any sense...) It's easier to think about bangs or toenails than eternity sometimes... Physically, pregnancy is a lot easier for me than mentally...
i'm so grateful for this little gift & i can't wait to meet this baby & even tho 4 weeks seems like *forever* right now, Steph keeps telling me it's only *days*... i don't think i've ever been this ready for a baby. i've got a beautiful little brand new carseat & stroller, diapers, wipes, newborn soothers, a couple of teeny newborn sleepers... All i need is the baby!
Anyway, enough blathering...

My mom wrote me back:
Strangely….I understand exactly the sentiment(s) that you expressed….haha. When we are able to go deep it’s wonderful…but then I think sometimes if we always kept going deeper and deeper….haha…we may crack up. But each fore’ leaves us with a little deeper range I think…and as long as we are operating in this old world….the little everyday things keep our feet on the ground here….I think we have to just lighten up sometimes..


i've been downloading songs to listen to in labour... It has been sooo good. i've been using a lot of the "shout to the Lord kids" songs & some Jason Upton, & just a general mix of what i think i may need to hear. When i was listening to those songs, i found myself being comforted... Knowing my Father still has his fingers on me & that He is keeping me ~ even in this time of shallowness ~ in the palm of His hand.


Jamie said...

Sometimes when I come to your blog I tear up. You are so honest and transparent and you write in a way that makes one feel like its them feeling the things you describe (if that makes sense). You are so blessed.

My body is STILL not back to 'normal' and it is SO frustrating! I want to be pregnant again SO bad! But I can't imagine the fear that will be there when that happens! I'll definately be looking back on your blog for encouragement!

Anonymous said...

did you change your email address??
Can't seem to send an email to you.

Rochelle said...


Wow. I have to say after you comments on BC about Pushed/Tulip's reply and then your reply to my post about the HSing and miscarriage I had to check out your profile. Reading your blog I can see we have much more in common than I realized. Prolife, Christian, Reformed (I noticed your sola list), love for children, large families, etc. It was just an encouragement to find your blog and see other Christians far away who are thinking about and struggling with similar things. For me more than a lost pregnancy/child I'm grappling with being in a sudden new place I've wanted to be in for YEARS, and yet how it's come unexpectedly and in the worlds eyes, some what inconveniently. I say that because we were newly weds when we got pregnant and though we want many children and this child in particular dearly, finances and my working with an infant and my husband starting Law School are all challenges we hadn't expected to face. But God has answered so many prayers with granting me this marriage and baby, so I am astounded by my doubts. Ok, enough rambling. I was just excited to see "you" and see what was behind the BC profile, which is a person I'm impressed with. May the Lord continue to bless you.

paige said...

Thank you so much for your comments~ i forgot i had a link to my blog on my profile. i think so many of your doubts & fears will be eased when you're holding that little bun in your arms & drowning in motherhood. It *is* a sacrifice & one that you have to make again & again as you raise your children... but it's so worth it.


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