i've always been one of those *horribly annoying* people who thinks nobody likes them. Since i'm aware of the horrible annoyingness of this personality type, i *try my best* to shut up about it when i'm feeling particularly unlovable.
Many, many things have contributed to this broken view of my own self - & while i know i'm not the only one who feels like they should apologize profusely for every conversation exchange - i find this timid way of living to be more than a little exhausting.
Lately though... it feels like my friends won't be explained away.
They keep trying when i don't respond.
They wind the roots of our friendships around my heart and bind it together so that it can heal.
They pray with me... like real prayers - for me, with me, over me...
They encourage me... ask me questions... dig deeper... and believe me...
Their expectations are non existent - and they minister to me tirelessly - without being asked. They are mostly wives and mama's, older, younger, wiser, funnier, full of kindness - and a welcoming sense of community...
And i can't help but believe that they like me.
And even if they didn't - i know that i would have more than enough...
So the fact that they do - seems like some crazy, undeserved richness.
And i think the richness of my friendships is a gift from my Father who whispers to me, "i love my people, Paige... i love you and i love these women too - sharpen each other, extend grace, be gentle and humbly offer truth to each other..."
People are hard. We're all broken - insecure, proud, incompetent, thoughtless, angry, selfish, insensitive or ultra sensitive...
But people are also precious. Each one has unique giftings - hilarious quirks, tender mercies, unbelievable strengths - humble offerings that make the vulnerability of true friendship worth it.
So friends? i'm so glad that you're in my life... please stay awhile and let's grow together.
Love this Paige. I think you're a treasure and am honoured to call you friend :)
ReplyDeletewe don't just like you paige, we love you :)
ReplyDeleteI will count myself in, because even though i am your Mama...I am also your sister and your friend. AND I LOVE YOU! (probably that insecurity was inherited genetically from me...sorry)
ReplyDeleteWhat Lisa said.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing Paige!! And I really understand this post.
ReplyDelete;) Miss ya.
ReplyDeleteCarlee